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home : letters : letters May 24, 2016

12/19/2013 11:22:00 AM
Here, there, everywhere

To the editor:

The Obamacare website has been having some problems. A man in Chicago gave the federal website his information and five days later discovered he was engaged to a woman in Moscow, Idaho. The only thing they have in common is a chronic sinus condition. At this time both are still uncovered. As far as insurance is concerned.

In 1924 Tom Mix was King of the Cowboys and Babe Ruth was playing right field for the Yankees. The national debt was under thirty billion dollars. President Calvin Coolidge was nervous. The debt is now seventeen trillion dollars. The President is not nervous. No one is nervous. This country is obviously low in math skills for obvious reasons, all they teach is addition.

People are searching for Bigfoot, a large and hairy creature which walks like a man and growls like a linebacker. I decided, quite recently, to investigate. I took a piece of lemon meringue pie and placed it at the foot of a tree in the woods near the highway. I attached a heat-activated camera to a nearby stump.

I went back the next morning and the pie was gone. The camera picture showed a large, hairy hand reaching for the pie. I found a quarter near the empty plate. This means that not only is there a creature in the near vicinity but it has better manners than half the people who dine out in area restaurants.

Respectfully,

Phillip Hammes



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